Through the Darkness
by Rowna Seria
Summary: This one is really odd, I got a lot of help from my dad on this one. At least it doesn't end that sad, But the whole thing is wierd, that why I like it.


Through the Darkness  
  
Author's note: This is Draco in his fifth year at Hogwarts, it ends in the same year. Pleas don't mind the fragment sentences; I did it for effect. Special thanks to my dad who helped me to make this into a much better story.  
  
Soft is the falling snow, which brushed across my face. This bitter light out side, the cool darkness inside. Yes I have been here too long, but I know I cannot leave. My heart feels cold and barren, just the way my father would have liked it. I feel so removed, from the war, the pain, even from my body. My actions are not my own. My father, dead.  
  
It was different before then. The only time I was not myself was around Him. From the moment I saw him it was if someone stuck and knife in my chest and tore it open, than when I saw Him my mind would float away from my body, like I was watching the world through some one else's eyes. Always, always around Potter.  
  
Then when my father died, (it was in potions class, beginning of this year) I felt like my heart was suddenly squeezed shut, but instead of closing it only tore. I felt the blood leak from my heart, my deadened soul. I was suddenly lurched from my body, to the state I am in now. My mind is not part of my body, I'm locked inside watching some horrible movie through eyes that are not my own.  
  
The wind blows through my cloak and I know it bites my skin, but I cannot feel it, I'm too removed. You don't know what it's like to have your world destroyed. To have some one you thought was invincible destroyed. He was my center of the universe; every part of me was built off of him. Now I will never please him, never be the perfect son. Every thing he told me was lies, and the truth hits you so fast the blow is not painful, but hurts long afterward. Very long, it's been nearly two and a half months, and it still pains me, I am still so empty. I'm drowning in this wretched darkness, and I can't tell anyone because I have no control over my body's actions.  
  
I know this is darkness, but it feels so light, like the snow. I feel myself falling, falling away, away into darkness. I feel my limbs move on their own, I want to stay with the snow, but my body moves inside, were it is warmer. I pass people as I walk to the dinner hall, they look at me with what seems like fear, but I'm too distant to judge.  
  
I'm not what you would call tall; in fact I'm rather short. Only about the same height as Him. Maybe some day I will start calling Potter by his real name on a regular basis. I reach the great hall, it's about dinnertime and many other students have already arrived. The food I put in my mouth tastes of nothing, it is nothing in this distance of mine. Oh dear, I think I ate something I usually detest, everyone is staring at me strange.  
  
Not everything now is bad, I guess my grades have improved, the way my father would have liked them. He always had high expectations of me. Wanted me to be the same, and maybe even better than him. He expected so much that I could not deliver. I began believe the awful things he said about me. It may have been all right if it wasn't for Potter, he always beat me at everything, always. The mudblood Granger did not help my state and in a way may have been worse than Potter. My father's harsh words still ring in my ears. But I could not hate him for it; I was everything he had made me. I was his reflection, and what happens to a reflection when it's host is gone? When he was alive I was sure he was right, everything he said was truth, but now I know there is two sides to every story.  
  
I have now, reached the common room. After completing my homework I go up to the dormitory in silence. I know I am dark and distant, but as I said my body is not mine. I lay down too sleep, one of the few things my body and mind agree on.  
  
But tonight it is different; the darkness enwraps me tight. I feel myself falling away, away into this deep and dark place, the color of black. I fall and the darkness squeezes tight around my soul, and I slip into nothingness.  
  
Slowly I feel myself trapped, trapped in endless dark, shapes darker than black cross my vision. I sit in this cloak of utter darkness for a long time. I have not way of knowing how long it has been. Than after this long wile of waiting something appears. A cat, a black and white cat. It's splotchy black color blends with the darkness, it's white stands out like moonlight. I remember this cat, a long time ago, or maybe only since the time before black, I helped this cat, it was only a kitten. It's was lost and dieing in a small nook between two buildings, I remember pulling it out and feeding it, running my fingers through it's matted hair. I knew my father would never let my keep it as a pet, so I let it go, now it's grown. I reach out to touch it though I know I cannot reach. My arm is bound to my side by darkness and I know I could not move it even if it was free. I cry out with my mind, and surprisingly it turns to look at me. As it comes toward me I feel my strength returning. I reach out to it, my arm now free. But it is still so far away, and I feel myself falling again. But it comes to me and I reach out to feel its fur under my hands.  
  
Suddenly I am thrown up through this pit of blackness, into a roaring whirl of black and white, with sounds defining my ears, sound that makes no noise at all. Then there is a bright light, and my eyes snap open. I am lying in a bed, with the cat curled up on my chest. It's senses me and climbs off to let me sit up. I reach out and run my finger through its soft glossy fur. Oh how it feels to touch it, like touching a long lost part on my heart. My hands are my hands, my feet are my feet, and my body now once again belongs to my soul.  
  
I notice the sun is shinning through the infirmary window, it shines upon me, I can feel it's warmth. For the first time I can feel it's warmth upon my face. I feel this tickling inside myself, bubbling up through me. And I laugh, I laugh and laugh, not a dark laugh or an evil laugh, or even my usual cruel laugh. No this is a real laugh, deep from within. "What, what is this feeling?" I ask the air.  
  
But I don't need any answers, I know what this is, deep inside I know what this is.  
  
1 Happiness.  
  
  
  
Author's end note: The ending is at the end of the year (he's been out for a long time) when he wakes up it's the first day of spring, so we still haven't come to the conclusion of 'Harry's' story part, It's when the rising action is getting really intense, hmm ok?  
  
(For the record this was written before the fifth book.)  
  
Oh ya, if your wondering Draco is suffering from a magical backlash prolonged by his own messed-up-ness, least that's what happened in the story and part of the reason why he was so whacked.  
  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 


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